CRASH AND.

the flames licked higher and higher into the fading sunlight. her fist tightened around a wet cloth as the mixed feelings of satisfaction, anger, and hurt swam in her head. she winced slightly as the water stung the burns on the inside of her hand – a souvenir of the deed – but the real pain hadn’t hit yet.

she watched as his house was engulfed in the destruction of reds and oranges and yellows, the smoke pouring from the top like a call to heaven, though not even god could save her now. she heard the snaps and crackles and sizzles of burning and took a deep breath, breathing in the smell of closure.

she’d placed the tokens on his bed. all of the items she’d collected over the years: his shirt, the presents, movie ticket stubs, and letters. she’d lit them first, lit them with the lighter he gave her. she hoped they’d burnt a hole right through the mattress they’d made love on. in her mind, she saw the outline of his house. she pictured the flames burning a precise path down the stairs they’d ran up, full of hormones and love. she imagined the fire continuing that path to the couch they’d spent so much time laughing and kissing on. melting the screen of the television they’d watched movie after movie on.

tears traced familiar paths on her face as she recalled all of the words that had been exchanged in the house ablaze across the street from where she stood. she supposed they smoldered too, the promises sizzling and popping into smoke alongside their physical counterparts

when he came back, he’d see. his world burnt to the ground just as he had set hers ablaze. the unfair part was that even with his belongings gone, he’d have more than he had left her with. he’d have ashes, she had nothing.

ignoring the pain and using the towel to wipe the sweaty tears from her face, she walked slowly across the street and up the stairs she’d hurried up months before. she paused in front of the door and almost knocked, just to keep the pattern. sighing, she used the towel to turn the knob and it hissed as the heat of the metal met the water. she let herself in and, in the middle of winter, she sat down, thought about him, and let herself burn.

[2.20.10]